Blazers championship run ended by toe

The Portland Trail Blazers’ 2014 championship run has been effectively ended by an injury to C.J. McCollum, a 2013 draft pick, according to some fans.

“This ruins everything,” says Jake McPaddle of Beaverton. “After we added Mo Williams, I knew we had one of the best backcourts in the league. Now? Who knows. We’ll probably only win about 20 games.”

Nat Rudreaux of Tigard had similar concerns. “The addition of C.J., Crabbe, and T-Rob really could have put us over the top. Now that C.J. is out, though, we have to depend on our veterans, and we already know what they can do. They’re just okay.”

“This always happens to us,” says Kristin Jones of Gresham. “Always. The Blazers have the worst luck of any team in the history of sports. It’s the Curse of the Cotton Underpants.”

Blazers fans do not feel good.
Blazers fans do not feel good.

Blazers fans have no real indication of how the rookie guard might perform in the NBA, with or without a broken metatarsal, but that hasn’t stopped them from wailing and gnashing their teeth. Other  #10 draft picks include Austin Rivers, Jimmer Fredette, Paul George, Brandon Jennings, Brook Lopez, Spencer Hawes, Mouhamed Sene, Andrew Bynum, and Luke Jackson.

“Luke Jackson had nice hair,” said Rob Waggoner of Portland, dreamily, for a moment. “What were we talking about? The other Lopez got drafted at number 10. Oh yeah! We have Robin Lopez! Maybe everything is going to be all right after all.”

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