Category: Fandom

  • Blazers championship run ended by toe

    The Portland Trail Blazers’ 2014 championship run has been effectively ended by an injury to C.J. McCollum, a 2013 draft pick, according to some fans. “This ruins everything,” says Jake McPaddle of Beaverton. “After we added Mo Williams, I knew we had one of the best backcourts in the league. Now? Who knows. We’ll probably…

  • Beat L.A. – Please?

    Okay, before we begin, I know that Wesley Matthews, JJ Hickson, and Nicholas Batum all might be out for the game tonight. Having experienced defensive players who can go against Kobe, and bodies to go against Dwight Howard, would help the cause. My hopes are lessened somewhat, but not gone. The NBA – where weirder…

  • We don’t boo the Blazers in this family

    So I have this unborn child inside me. He’s about the size of a banana, just kind of swimming around and growing and enjoying second-hand ice cream. The idea of bringing a little dude into the world makes me look around more closely at boys all around me and their various behaviors. Upon seeing a…

  • Andre Miller Appreciation Day

    I was planning on doing a post about how awful Raymond Felton is and how he Ruins Everything, but the internet and his own big mouth are doing a fine job of that. Just search “Felton” on Twitter real quick. It’s all Hostess and botched dribbles. Thanks internet! Sometimes, your Twitters truly make my heart…

  • Brandon Roy in the house: Meh.

    A few short months ago, I was full of feelings about the Brandon Roy situation. Rage. Regret. Dejection. I felt like someone was lying to us about his health, and wasn’t sure if it was the Blazers or Brandon himself. If we couldn’t have him, I didn’t want anyone else to have him either. I…

  • Does LA need a(nother) nickname?

    There are a few things that bug me when I go to a Blazers game: 1. No soft pretzels! At least, not in my lazy explorations. If there’s a soft pretzel vendor in the Rose Garden, please point me toward them. 2. The intros. They’ve introduced the visiting team, blah blah blah, okay. When they…

  • Mike Rice Drinking Game

    Proposed: Take a drink when Rice: Emphasizes the word “reaaaaalllly” Talks about the food he’ll eat at the next road game Expresses regret for the amount of food eaten at halftime Discusses referees’ perceived ability based on their jersey number Successfully describes Rice’s Ridiculous Deal Confirms that a player “can do that” or “will do…

  • End of the sellout streak

    So the Blazers’ “sellout streak” has come to an end. And yeah, Blazers muckety mucks – we know you didn’t sell out all those games to paying customers at full price. That team at the end of last year was not particularly compelling. This is a terrible confession for someone who’s trying to start a…

  • The Brandon Roy question

    At this moment, there are many questions Blazers fans could or should be asking themselves about Brandon Roy. How much is left in his knee? Is it any more than what was left two years ago in the playoffs? Could he ever play more than 15 minutes a game or 20 minutes in a back-to-back?…